


On Top Of The World

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-09
Updated: 2004-05-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:00:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian's POV from episode #214.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I am…so…fucking…tired. I strip my clothes off, tossing them on the floor, something Justin would do. I roll my eyes at myself; I’m too tired to give a shit. Five years ago a night in jail with Mikey and Ted would have been amusing, but now…well, I’m too old for that shit. Fuck, did I just say I was too old for something? Uh…

Justin gets up from the computer where he’s working and starts to pad over to the bedroom. The look in his eyes is pensive. He quit? Did I just hear him right? Thank fucking go-…well thank someone. I wonder what happened at that party, I’m gonna fucking kick Sap’s ass if he touched one hair on his head, or worse yet…on his dick.

“I decided that working at night and going to school during the day was counterproductive to my goals. I need to prioritize and concentrate on my art.”

Did he just use counterproductive and prioritize in the same sentence? He must have hit his head last night.

“So, I’d like to take you up on your offer, if it still stands.” Lifting the comforter to check my dick, which has been stirred just by the sight of him standing there…vulnerable…asking me for help…being more of a man than I’ve ever seen him be, I answer, “It still stands.”

My answer is sarcastic, but honest. I couldn’t be happier that he’s willing to take my money; I don’t even give a shit if he ever repays it. If it’ll get him out of the club and more rested and able to spend more time here, with me, I don’t care what it costs. He’s going to be such an amazing artist. I’ll consider the loan a down payment on the art I’m going to make him hang on my walls in the coming years. Shit, that was a futuristic comment if I ever heard one. I’m assuming that he and I have a future together…when did that happen? Hmmm.

As he slips his worn t-shirt over his head and begins climbing up the bed towards me my eyes glaze over with lust and I begin to push all of these thoughts out of my mind.

“We’ll need to discuss the terms of the loan, interest, repayment schedule and we should have something in writing.”

Again impressed by his level of maturity I answer, “Of course.” But I hope that discussion can wait until later because right now all I want to do is fuck the shit out of him and then get some rest. I put my arm across him and rock his shoulder back, leveraging my body on top of his. He slides his left hand down my right bicep as it lies across his body. His soft touch warms me. There is something about Justin’s hands that makes me quiver, I never grow tired of the way he touches me. I ponder his face for a moment, wondering how we went from him letting Gary suck his dick to him quitting and finally letting me help him. The thought only lingers for a moment, because I don’t want to think about it, to analyze it, to wonder what made him change his mind. I see the deep pain behind his eyes, lurking somewhere. He’s already trying to repress whatever happened last night, that much I can tell and I want to help him do that. But first, I ask him, because I have to.

 

“So what made you change your mind?”

 

He sucks in a breath, as if he’s wondering whether or not to blurt out the truth or lie to me. His answer, simply, is, “A man needs to know when to ask for help.” I sigh at his response; it is as honest as he can be with me right now. And I’ll take that answer and revel in it. That lesson is one I’ve taught him well. There are so many others, so many harsh things, that I’ve taught him while he’s still so young, things that I wish everyday I could take back. I’m happy with myself for having passed on something good to him, for once.

 

Taking quick control Justin pushes against me and rolls over on top of me, covering my body with his. I’m swift to submit to his wishes and I slip onto my back, underneath him and wait for the first kiss. I have a fleeting thought, a question I say to myself…How long has it been since either of us has kissed another person…I mean really kissed someone else…when it was heated, when it was passionate, when it meant something? I can’t remember personally, I wonder if Justin can. For whatever reason it comforts me, instead of bothering me. Just one more sign that tells me this is right. We are right.

 

And he does kiss me, and it is so good, I let a deep breath I’d been holding escape my lungs. I so need this right now, to be close to him, to feel him. Things have been so strained lately. His body arches away from mine and my eyes pout up at him. Then I realize he is leveraging himself to pull his gray sweats down, away from his body. I reach my right arm over to the bedside table to retrieve a condom, but I never let my eyes leave his body. I watch him take down the right side, and then the left side of his pants. I’ve seen that cock a thousand times and I still get a tickle in my gut even now. It’s beautiful really. I don’t think I’ve ever told him surely in the heat of the moment, but never out of bed, when it would mean something. I distinctly remember being incredibly impressed that first night I brought him back here. God, that was a lifetime ago.

 

It is just that his dick really is perfect. I’ve seen a lot of dicks, I should know. It’s young first of all, that always helps. But, the skin is so fresh looking, always. It is long and wide and curves just the right way. Of course, I can’t tell him all that…don’t need the little twink getting fucking full of himself. 

 

Condom in hand, I go to tear it open, we can save the slow stuff for after I’m rested. I need to be inside of him now. I know he’ll understand. Suddenly though, he grabs the condom from my hand. Having stolen it from me he stares into my eyes. There is something there, something unusual…but I can’t read what it is. All I’m thinking is, he better hurry the fuck up and slip that thing on me or I’ll cum alone otherwise.He leans in again, like he might kiss me. But, being a tease, his head pulls away from me a bit and he rips the corner of the condom wrapper with his teeth. All I can think is that the condom wrapper in his mouth is…. so…. damn…. sexy. Now he leans in and kisses me again, very lightly, almost hesitant. I start to wonder what he’s up to, but I immediately get an answer as Justin places his left palm to my back and attempts to rotate me on to my stomach.

WHAT THE FUCK?


	2. On Top Of The World

I push back against him.

Someone is apparently testing the limits this morning.

He takes my money so suddenly I owe him something?

Right, I don’t think so. No.

He pushes again.

Whoa, he’s serious.

He wants this.

Not that I haven’t often thought he might ask for it.

He’s even jokingly said he was going to fuck me a few times...but this? 

There is an air about him, a sense of calm. I can see in his eyes that he is sure he is going to get his way. After his second shove I roll half way back and my gaze meets his. We sit, in a stare-off, for what seems like eternity. In those moments I watch the path of our relationship replay itself in my mind. Think how unlikely this pairing is. How unbelievable it is we’ve ended up here, living together, making some semblance of a life together. I even consider him my boyfriend, I haven’t told him that but I do. And I love Justin, I haven’t told him that either, but I do. Things I didn’t know I was capable of, it turns out I am. He’s shown me a side of life I didn’t expect to experience. And in this moment all I can think about is how sweet the journey has been. 

I don’t know if it was the bottle of Beam I had, the night in jail, the fact Justin quit dancing, the fact he’s finally letting me help him, the fact I’m tired as hell and just want to get off, the fact that I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, even Mikey, even myself but I find myself slipping on to my stomach, gripping a pillow beneath my arms and bracing myself. If I stop to think about what I’m doing, what I’m letting be done to me, I might stop it. So I won’t.

I hold my breath and close my eyes and wait.

Justin’s body is so warm as it presses against mine. His shoulders press into my back as he wriggles his hands beneath him to slip the latex on to his dick. He moves the comforter out of his way, just slightly, and holds his dick to direct it into my ass. God, how long has it been since I’ve let someone do this? I can’t remember now, can’t even think of who it was, when it was, how it was. My mind is reeling trying to get away from thoughts of what this could do, what doors it could open up. All I should focus on right now is my ass opening up. 

I don’t know if I was naive enough to think Justin could possibly go slow with me. His labored breathing and rapid heartbeat, I can feel it through his chest and on my back, tell me this won’t be long. His dick pierces the first ring of muscle in my hole. I wait, breath held, as he pushes all the way into me in one long motion. I dip my head; eyes closed and slowly release the breath I’m holding. He kisses at the base of my neck, on the side of my face and holds himself inside of me. Perhaps afraid if he starts to move back out I will make him leave me entirely. But I wouldn’t, not now. 

I must have let myself forget how amazing this feels, submission to someone, giving myself to another person. The trust it takes to let him inside of me, it’s a rush.

And he stays inside me, balls deep, for longer than either of us can stand, but it’s so…uh. 

Then he whispers in my ear, “Thank you.” It is almost imperceptible, but I hear it and I understand it. I’ve given him something, closeness we’ve never known. I could have fucked Justin every day for as long as we both lived, but without this, without my physical admission of how much I care for him and trust him…we could have never reached this level. I’m content with my decision and suddenly arch my back and push in towards him. Justin responds with a deep, low moan that makes me tingle. I can feel my dick squirming and twitching beneath me. I move a little to rub it on the soft sheets below and I hit the tip against the bed and I buck up from the sensation. I laugh a little and so does Justin.

He begins to move in and out of me then, suddenly much more sure of himself. My jaw clenches and my eyes roll back in my head as his right hand grips my right tricep and his left hand holds my hip firmly. Suddenly we are no longer riding the bed in the loft, but adrift in some parallel universe of amazing sex. I mean it’s no shock that Justin and I have great sex. The best of my life, but I don’t tell him that. Why the fuck else would I keep him around? Well, now there are reasons…but before, I never quite pushed him away as hard as I could have. Reason being is when we fucked, even that first time, it was out of this world. And then, after the bashing, the first time we did it…I can’t even call it fucking because that isn’t what it was. It was something else entirely, something ethereal.

And now this, it’s different too. It’s new and amazing and lust-filled and deeper and more meaningful. We both know it, that’s what makes the moments passing between us so intense. I can barely breathe as I try to listen to Justin, to the sounds he’s making. I want to hear every second of it, I need to know that he understands what this means. Justin always gets me; he’s really the only one who ever has. There’s been so much that has happened between us without words. Almost all of the important stuff happens in the looks we give each other, inside of the things we don’t say. Just like this moment. Sure, there are some primal grunts and a little panting, but no talking.

FUCK, I bite the pillow hard to stop myself from letting out a deep scream. Justin is pushing so deep inside me that I can’t catch my breath. And frankly, I’m incredibly impressed. I know he’s fucked people before, I’ve witnessed it now numerous times, but I guess I didn’t know what it would be like. I never really stopped to think about it. Okay, that's a lie. I have. I’ve actually fantasized about it. Fuck, I’ve waited for this. I just needed it to be the right time. I needed to have all the right reasons. I needed him to understand what this means to me…what I’m saying to him. Sure, I’ve never uttered the words, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel that way. I love him. I do. I know it. He knows it. Now I’m showing him. That’s enough, isn’t it? It will have to be for now.


	3. On Top Of The World

His cock pushes past my prostate at just the right angle and I whimper and push back against his thrust, hard. He responds by repeating the same motion again, and thus so do I. He’s so close to me now, our bodies are pushed together and the heat between them is getting intense. I can feel the sweat rolling down my back getting caught between my skin and his stomach. He wraps his right arm around my waist to give himself more leverage and pushes deeper into me, which I wasn’t sure was possible. I scream out and collapse a little underneath him. He takes the opportunity to slip out of me and roll me on to my side. I look up at him and our eyes connect for the first time since this session began. For a moment we forget that we are sweat-covered with raised cocks waiting for release, and we just stare. His eyes tell me that he gets it, all of it. Why it had to take this long, why I’m giving him this now. I sigh with relief, and happiness, and gratitude and then I go to roll back to my stomach but Justin’s hand catches my shoulder and pushes me on to my back.

“No,” his remark is emphatic but tentative, “I want to look at you.” I’m unsure at first, I don’t know why, but I am. Then he slides his hand up the inside of my left thigh all the way out to my foot and he takes it slowly and gently and places my leg up onto his right shoulder.

Fuck, what am I letting this kid do to me?

Then he does it, just as methodically, with the other leg. He moves up on the bed a little to leverage himself under the weight of my legs and to get ready to enter me. I suck in a gulp of air in anticipation. I wait, but he just stares. He reaches up and strokes the side of my face and then leans close to me, folding my legs up between us (thank god I’m still flexible). Our faces pressed together I can feel my dick throbbing against his stomach. He pushes even harder into my mouth, desperate to run his tongue all over mine, to taste me deep inside. And I let him, for a minute. But then I feel a burning desire to get on with things, to get back to the matter at hand. I push him away a little and hold his face out so he can focus on me.  
“Justin…”

He waits for what I’m going to say next, he doesn’t get that I just want him inside of me again.

“Fuck me.” It comes out in almost an irritated whisper. Although it is really more than I am agitated, or rather my dick is, not irritated. He gulps hard and then gives me a semi-goofy grin. Gripping my leg with one hand and his dick with the other he looks down to watch himself slide into me again. I too have my eyes focused on what is about to happen. 

We both watch, as if we are spectators and not participants in this event. But, then his dick hits my hole and we both feel the electric shot run through every inch of our bodies.

“Fuck! You’re really tight.” He says it honestly, quietly almost and I just smile inside as my eyes close and my head rolls back waiting for him to start pumping again.

And I’m not disappointed. At this point the pace is more frantic and the urgency fills the room. We both breathe erratically and move with the ebb and flow of the bed as it undulates beneath us. He’s fucking me hard, even harder than before. I love him for it. Somehow he knew this was what I needed, what we needed. I’m impressed at his impeccable timing.


	4. On Top Of The World

He leans down into me, folding my legs up in this contortionist position again and bites down, firmly, on my left nipple. I let out a yelp, and smile a little. He works his tongue over the bump and sucks it hard. I can’t imagine it is easy for him to keep his mouth concentrated in that small area when the rest of his body is bucking back and forth at such a rapid pace. He sucks on my nipple until it aches and turns a deep shade of eggplant that I can’t imagine is good, but it feels that way so I let him. When he’s done with the nipple work he lifts his head from my chest and our eyes meet once more. I can see he is looking for some release and I nod my head toward my dick and he immediately gets what I’m inferring.

Placing his right hand between us he slides it up the entire length of my dick, letting his thumb trail along the vein that is throbbing on the side of it. He flicks the tip with his finger, moving my precum around. I moan, and then moan louder as he uses every trick he knows to get me there. After what has happened between us this morning I know I won’t be long. The deep sounds coming from within my body are surely my own, yet I have no control over them. I catch Justin’s eyes as he looks up at me, half-surprised and half-pleased. I wait to further understand the look and he explains by huffing, “You’ve…never…been…so…loud.” For a moment I make a feeble attempt at silence, which is incredibly difficult, but he rushes to add, “NO…I…like…it.” So I continue.

After another few quick trips up and down the length of my shaft I begin to let myself go into the orgasm. Now, I’ve cum, god what three million times in my life? But, never like this. There was some feeling deep in my gut, something emotional, something I hadn’t felt before. Granted, Justin’s dick is also up my ass, which is something new entirely, but I don’t know. It was just all very different. It was like losing my virginity all over again, but in a good way with none of the discomfort, just the raw, unfamiliar, wonderful emotion.

I start to shake and shift under him and these low, guttural, unintelligible sounds come from deep inside me as I begin to release into his hand.

“FUCK!” I can barely hear him because I am temporarily deaf as my hips buck and I lose my breath. I know he feels my ass gripping his dick and pushing him out of me. He fights back and rides the spasms and moans himself. Suddenly he’s cuming too, and I’m not even done yet. The waves of the orgasm are still shuddering through my body. I might never stop twitching at this rate, and that’s fine by me. I hear him screaming my name, and that makes me happy. The look on his face, the way his body is collapsing around us, I know that letting him in was the right decision. 

Completely spent, a little shaky, completely sweat-soaked, sublimely happy, Justin collapses on top of me. His weight, so unrestricted, nearly crushes me, but I want it to. My legs fall to the bed and open wide, letting him lay between them, his head rested on my chest. His head is turned to the side and he is drawing in huge gulps of air as he tries to regulate his erratic and labored breathing. I’m doing the same and for moments the only sound in the entire loft is our deep breaths echoing as they try to meet each other, to find a rhythm together. When we’ve settled down slightly Justin shifts a little and his dick finally slides all the way out of me, it is such emptiness, and not one I like. He stretches his left arm over to the bedside table. I see him reaching for a tissue and as he pulls it out of the box I fling my right hand up and knock it away, letting it dance on the air down to the floor. He lifts his head and looks at me, slightly confused at first. Then I brush his face with my soft palm and run my fingers through his hair. The look on my face, I can only imagine, is one of utter content. And then he understands. I don’t want to wipe it all away, not yet. I want us to marinate in this new level of our relationship, for just a while longer. 

With a soft, almost undetectable smile and a deep sigh he lays his head to rest on my chest once more. Then he brings his hand up to meet mine and laces our fingers together. I draw our intertwined fingers up to my mouth and softly kiss each one of his fingers before I begin to drift to sleep and all I can think is, why haven’t we done that before?


End file.
